


Work Against The Stars

by Deadlyflames



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Musical References, lotor and Allura grow up together
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-10
Updated: 2017-09-21
Packaged: 2018-12-25 23:54:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12046962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deadlyflames/pseuds/Deadlyflames
Summary: A childhood rivalry turned romance, a heartbreaking separation, a shocking realization, a bitter reunion. Four stages of the relationship of two royals pushed together and then ripped apart.





	1. This Is My Idea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Long before they met  
> Derek and Odette  
> Were destined to be wedded  
> However anyone could see  
> The only point on which they didn't disagree  
> Was that the very thought of summertime was dreaded

When Prince Lotor first saw her, he was livid. When he was older, he would conclude that his reasons for being furious with her were absurd. However, at age seven, he considered his anger to be completely acceptable.

Princess Allura stood taller than him, with her hands propped on her hips and her eyes narrowed on him with suspicion. The way her lips pursed in that critical way made his blood boil. 

He shouldn't have been shorter than her. He knew Allura was nearly a year older than him, but he should still be the one looking down on her. The Galra towered over Altean's, yet this young princess stood above him with an unimpressed sneer. 

Lotor wanted to turn to his father and demand that he send King Alfor and his daughter back to their planet. However, the way his father shoved him towards the princess suggested there was no room for debate. Lotor really despised this betrothal.

The prince gnashed his teeth as he bent into a low bow before the princess. "Pleasure to meet you Princess Allura," Lotor grumbled. His voice was hostile despite his father's urgings that he needed to be charming. "I'm so happy that you'll be staying here for the summer."

Allura's tone was pleasant when she finally spoke and, despite her young age, her voice was clear as a bell. "I'm happy to be here, Prince Lotor," she replied while falling into a curtsy. She maintained the grace of a dancer, even though Lotor had been sneering at her through his teeth. His animosity didn't seem to phase her. "I hear this season is quite lovely on your planet."

Lotor didn't say anything as he stepped back, and looked into her eyes for a moment. The colour was odd. Like a sea filled with pink stars. He immediately glared at the ground and crossed his arms in front of his chest. He felt his cheeks grow warm, but he was sure it was due to embarrassment and rage. 

There was a few diplomatic and friendly words exchanged between Alfor and Zarkon before the Emperor suggested he and his daughter go rest after their long journey. The servants led Allura away to her chambers and she didn't so much as glance back at Lotor. Though, it wasn't as if that bothered him.

When the king and the princess left the room, his father hit him upside the head for his rudeness. Lotor winced but didn't say a word as his father gave him a sound lecture.

This was going to be a long summer.

Xxx

Allura was astounded by how immature Prince Lotor could be. She knew he was a spoiled brat, but she had expected a prince to conduct himself with a little decorum. 

Allura knew her father was insistent on this match between her and Zarkons's son. For his sake, she bared the annoyance of Lotor throughout each summer she spent with him. Even though he frustrated her to no end. 

However, during the summer when she was ten, Lotor adopted the habit of playing pranks. They weren't even clever pranks. He would throw rotted fruit at her when he thought she couldn't see him, and step on the skirt of her dress so she would trip as she walked by him. 

As the time rolled by and Lotor hadn't tired of his childish games, Allura decided to throw away etiquette and teach the boy a lesson. She wasn't going to let him treat her like this. She wasn't going to get pushed around without pushing back.

So the next time Lotor stepped down on her skirt, causing her to stumble, she turned around and socked him in the face.

The action took Lotor by surprise, but after regaining his senses he shoved her as hard as he could. Allura shoved him right back. 

The tussle quickly escalated to the point where they were both rolling on the floor, fighting each other, tooth and nail. Not once did Allura relent or become overwhelmed by him. When he kicked, she clawed. When he hit, she punched.

Eventually, it was their respective fathers who had to split them up. Zarkon gripped Lotor's wrist and forced the prince to release the hold he had on the princess' hair. Meanwhile, Allura's father struggled to make her stop biting Lotor's arm. 

As their emperor and the foreign king tore the two children away from each other, the Galra soldiers looked at the scene with a mixture of shock and amusement. 

When Alfor managed to get his daughter away from Lotor, it didn't take much to make the princess listen to him. The disappointment in her father's eyes was enough to make Allura regret her rash actions. She shouldn't have let herself get riled up by simple teasing and pranks. 

As her father continued to scold her, Allura looked over towards Lotor. Zarkon was yelling at the young prince, vehemently admonishing him for attacking a princess. Lotor's shoulders were hunched and he stared at the ground dejectedly. 

But when he looked up and met her gaze, the corners of his lips curled into a smile. There was no arrogance nor viciousness in that smile. It seemed to stem from genuine mirth and joy. She had never seen him grin like that before. He seemed to be about ready to burst out laughing, even as his father continued to rant on his behaviour. 

Allura wasn't really sure why, but she smiled back. 

Xxx

Lotor was thirteen when he realized that he actually liked Allura. It took him ages to admit it to himself. During that summer, they had spent more time together than they ever had before, and things were very different between them. For one, Lotor found himself actually wanting to spend time with her. 

There were occasions during his childhood, when he would allow her to play with him due to boredom and loneliness. During these times, as well as before and after them, Lotor and Allura would continuously snip at each other. However, as they ran through the palace halls together and played games of make-believe in the throne room, a familiarity and companionship grew. The barbs and insults exchanged in their youth somehow shifted to light teasing and playful banter. Lotor wasn't sure when that shift happened, but when he finally noticed it he knew he was in trouble.

Once the realization was made, Lotor did his best to hide his fondness and push whatever feelings he had deep down. Though, he couldn't help making the extra effort to try and make her feel welcome. She was much more fun to be around when she had the chance to enjoy herself. 

Lotor took Allura to the greatest sights of his kingdom, exploring deep underground caves filled with lost histories and swimming in a bay of shimmering water that nearly matched the beauty of her eyes. He tried to convince himself that he wasn't trying to impress her. Even as he swelled with pride upon seeing the wonder in her eyes when he brought her to a new place. 

When the summer's end came around all too quickly, Lotor felt his heart clenching at the thought of not seeing or even hearing from Allura until the next summer. So, before she left, he mustered up the courage to walk up to her and take her wrist. 

Allura stopped in her tracks when he touched her. Her lovely eyes were wide and startled when she turned back to face him. Lotor struggled to breathe for a moment, but he managed to get the words out.

"I will write to you," he said, and he hated how breathless and weak he sounded. "I hope you will respond."

The smile that lit her face could have obliterated mountains. It certainly did a number on him. He committed the way her eyes sparkled like stars to his memory. How could one person be so enchanting every single time they smiled? 

"I will, Lotor," she whispered, as if she were telling him a secret. "I definitely will." 

Xxx

Allura was fifteen when Lotor had kissed her for the first time. They had been spending more and more time together. No longer for just the adventures Lotor would take her on, but for perfectly mundane things as well. They would eat together in the garden, discussing the politics and the philosophers of their respective cultures. They would read together in the library, sitting in a comfortable and warm silence, only occasionally broken when Allura would stop to tell him an exciting new development in the story she read. 

The kiss happened on a beautiful night, when she was sure she could see all the stars of the galaxy. The prince and princess were sitting on a flat part of the palace roof, with some of the servants scrambling to find them down bellow. Lotor was lying back, his arms crossed behind his head as he gazed up at the sky. Allura was sitting up, having not nearly enough confidence to lay back in the relaxed way that Lotor was. She had to crane her neck in order to look up at the universe presented to them.

There was another call of their names and Allura was sure she could hear Coran fretting about her whereabouts. Lotor chuckled when he heard the panic that he caused when he whisked an Altean princess away. 

"You should have told someone we were going up here," Allura chided him, lightly nudging his leg with her foot. That action nearly caused her to loose her balance. 

"Where's the fun in that," he countered, shooting her a mischievous grin.

Allura could only roll her eyes at his careless attitude, though she couldn't help but laugh at the way Coran's voice cracked when he called out her name. She supposed she was no better than he was. 

"We're going to give someone a heart attack," she sighed, feeling ashamed of how they were worrying everyone. 

"Don't worry," Lotor assured her, his gaze not once drifting from the stars. "I go up here all the time. My servants and guards are used to my disappearances."

Allura only hummed in response and glanced up at the sky once again. She was glad Lotor had suggested this. It was such a clear night, with no clouds or pollution from the lights of Daibazaal. It was as if they were out in space. She gasped in excitement when a particularly bright and beautiful shooting star soared over her. 

"Allura."

She turned to find Lotor sitting up beside her, staring at her with an unreadable expression. He shifted uncomfortably, and could only meet her eyes for brief periods before his gaze would flicker back to the sky or to his hands.

She leaned in close, concerned about his sudden insecurity. Usually he was so confident around her, a sharpened half grin always on display. Especially before doing an especially dangerous stunt, like diving into the bay from the cliffside. This change in behaviour threw her for a loop.

"Are you alright?" she asked, trying to get him to look up at her. 

Lotor didn't respond with words. He simply leaned forward, closing the small distance between them, and gently pressed his lips against hers. His lips were soft and his skin was warm. Nothing could have stopped Allura from melting.

It was as if a damn had broken open within her. All the emotions and fluttering heartbeats that she had pushed aside whenever Lotor smiled or laughed or ran his fingers through his hair, rushed through her like a river.

She was shaking when he pulled away in order to breathe. His hands enveloped her trembling ones, his thumbs lightly caressing her skin. Lotor leaned his forehead against her own and they both tried to calm their pounding hearts. 

"I'm sorry," he whispered and his violet skin flushed to a rosy pink. "I've just...wanted to do that for a while."

"Well," she sighed, quickly regaining her composure. A smirk played at her lips and laughter bubbled up when she spoke again. "It took you long enough."

Lotor blinked, stunned into silence by her statement, before leaning in to kiss her again.

Allura had thought her father would be more pleased to find the seeds of romance being planted between herself and Lotor. But when she told him of her closeness with Lotor, his face was grim. He told her that this was the last summer they would be spending in Daibazaal. 

Both Lotor and Allura were shocked and devastated to find out about the sudden end to their betrothal. Neither of them understood why tensions were suddenly rising between their fathers. 

They agreed to continue sending letters, and visit one another when either of them had the opportunity. Even with the end of their engagement, they weren't ready to shove their newfound relationship aside after ignoring their own feelings for so long. 

So they continued their engagement, only in secret. But the optimism of their young love was no match for the shadows of things to come.


	2. Burn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I saved every letter you wrote me  
> From the moment I read them  
> I knew you were mine  
> You said you were mine  
> I thought you were mine  
> Do you know what Angelica said  
> When we saw your first letter arrive?  
> She said, "Be careful with that one, love  
> He will do what it takes to survive."

The Altean's were not prepared for war. They weren't prepared for Zarkon to raise from the grave and swear vengeance for the destruction of his home planet. When the Galra forces came down upon them, they were barely able to defend themselves and many died in the attempt. Zarkon clearly had no interest in taking prisoners. He was out for blood, and would be cruel and ruthless in his pursuit to get it.

All of the Altean forces were out in space, fending off the Galra fleet and keeping the attempt at genocide from reaching the planet and civilians for as long as possible. The mass amount of Galra ships would make it impossible for a mass evacuation. Meanwhile, unknown to those on Altea, those few Altean's who were able to escape their planet were being tracked and hunted down by Zarkon's witch. And Allura was in her castle, feeling more powerless than she ever had in her life.

However, she had one play to make. One thing she could do to stop the Galra and Zarkon in a peaceful way. If her father had known of her plan, he would have told her that they were far beyond peace. Though, Allura still had to try.

The last letter Lotor had sent was clasped in her hands. It had been sent before his father had risen from the dead. While he was still mourning the loss of his home and his parents and getting ready to take his father's place. Lotor had expressed his insecurities and sorrows, and Allura's heart had bled for him when she first read it. He had lost so much and had been given so many responsibilities in such a short amount of time. Lotor had given her instructions for their next meeting a week later. He wrote that he needed to be with her, even if it was only for a little while. 

The plan was to meet on that very day, but with the war raging over them, Allura wasn't sure he would even be there now. Still, she slipped away from her castle, and went towards their usual meeting spot on Altea. It was off in the thick of the forest, far enough away from the castle and any populated area. That way no one would be able to see the decent of Lotor's ship. 

Back when they had first started these secret rendezvous, it had been a thrill for the both of them. The excitement of a forbidden romance wasn't lost on them, even though their actions were quite risky. For the three years that they maintained their secret engagement, Allura would wait with a tremor in her fingers along with a warmth flooding her chest. Her anticipation would build until she saw his cruiser soaring overhead. Each time she saw him step out from the entry, she would grin like a lunatic and run at him at full speed. They would talk for hours, exchanging stories of their time apart with the same elation each time. 

Waiting for this meeting wasn't exciting or joyful. Her heart still pounded against her rib cage, but the fear clouded over everything, allowing no room for any other emotions. She shook with terror, anxiously thinking of what she would say when he arrived. Allura braced herself against a tree, breathing heavily through her nostrils. She needed to get a hold of herself and regain her composure before Lotor arrived. If he arrived. 

Time slowed to an agonizing pace as Allura waited on baited breath. With each tick that went by, her hope began to deflate. 

Her heartbeat picked up again when she heard the familiar sound of blasters coming from above her. When she looked up, a small Galra cruiser was descending into the forest. When it finally reached the forest floor, Allura's stomach churned and her throat closed.

The door opened a hiss of air, revealing the lone passenger within. Lotor stepped down from the cruiser and examined the woods. He stopped short when his eyes landed on her. A look of relief washed over his tense features when he saw her standing there alone. 

"I didn't think you would come," he sighed, a small smile on his lips as he walked towards her.

Allura felt the urge to run towards him, as she had done so many times before, but she stopped herself. They were at war, and she couldn't pretend things were as they used to be. She couldn't loose herself in him. Not then. 

"I didn't think you would either," she replied. She rung her hands, trying to plan her next sentence. Eventually, she just decided on the first words that pushed out of her mouth. "I'm happy to see you."

Lotor came up in front of her and extended a hand towards her. "We don't have much time," he whispered. There was a panic and urgency in his tone as he implored her take his hand. "Come on, we have to go."

Allura nearly reached out to him, but retracted her hand as his words registered in her mind. There was something in his words, in his voice, that made her hair stand on end. When she looked at his hand, she noticed the way the gauntlet he wore gleamed in the sunlight. He was wearing Galra armour, as if he would be going into battle.

Something was wrong.

"What do you mean?" she asked, her eyes narrowing on him. "Go where?"

"I'm going to take you back to Central Command," he answered quickly as he reached out and grabbed her hand. Lotor turned to lead her towards the ship, but stopped when he found she wasn't following him. "Don't worry, you'll be safe there." 

Allura gently pulled her hand out of his and took a step back. Her eyes flickered upwards, past the tree tops. Even from where she stood, she could see the red of battle bleeding into the clear blue sky. 

"I can't leave." Not when Altea was like this.

She looked back at Lotor to find that his hand dropped back down to his side. He was standing taller, straighter, as if his spine were a rod. He held his chin up proudly, looking down on her with a feeling she couldn't place. Though his expression was difficult to read, Allura could see traces of frustration with the way his eyebrow twitched. He looked more like a prince than he ever had before. 

"Allura," Lotor pressed. As he stepped towards her, she stepped back again. "Allura, please listen to me. You can't stay here. My father is planning on destroying Altea. Everyone here will die."

Allura brought her hand up to her chest when he said it. The thought of Altea's destruction, of the death of all her friends and family, made her blood run cold. It felt as if her heart was opening up and screaming. 

"You have to stop him then," she insisted, terror causing her voice to quiver. She took a hesitant step towards him and then another. He stood perfectly still, unaffected by her desperation. "Please, Lotor. If anyone can get through to Zarkon, it's you."

"Nothing is going to stop my father from avenging our home," Lotor told her in an even tone. "Not even me."

Allura was taken back by the finality of his words. It was like he had already accepted the terrible fate that would befall the Alteans. She couldn't believe he would stand by as his father slaughtered an entire race. She couldn't believe there was nothing he could do. He was the Crown Prince of the Galra Empire. 

"But, you must try to talk to him," Allura pleaded, becoming more bold and coming close enough to touch his arm. "Try and make him see that this is a mistake. Zarkon may be furious, but you could convince him of Altea's value. Our resources and skills shouldn't be sacrificed for the sake of revenge. Perhaps-"

"Allura," Lotor interrupted her frantic rambling. His stern expression softened as he reached up to cradle her face in his hands. "I've already spoken to my father."

Allura's breath caught in her throat. With the gentle touch of his skin and the warmth that radiated from him, she could feel herself melting in his hands. For a moment she dared to hope, even while dread sunk deep down within her gut.

"He agreed that completely removing the Altean royal bloodline was a mistake," Lotor explained, and with each word after that, Allura felt herself shatter. "I convinced him that with your family's ability to absorb and channel quintessence, your survival is invaluable. My father said that I could come get you and that you would be spared from Altea's destruction. That our children would inherit your abilities and the Empire would keep the benefit of your ancestors' powers."

Allura slowly pulled away from him, shaking her head in disbelief. This couldn't be real. The boy she had known since she was seven couldn't be suggesting that she abandon her kingdom. The boy she kissed at fifteen couldn't be telling her to let the Galra Empire use her for the sake of controlling her lineage. 

"Lotor, you can't-" Her voice broke with emotion and she could feel her eyes grow hot with tears. "You can't expect me to leave with you. To leave everyone I've ever known to die here."

"There is nothing that can be done for them," Lotor said, his tone grave as her tried to reach for her again. When she recoiled from him, he stopped in his tracks. He seemed shocked by her response and his voice rang with frustration when he spoke again. "All I'm trying to do is ensure your survival. I love you."

"How can you say that?" Allura whispered in complete astonishment. The tears pricked at the corners of her eyes, threatening to fall at any moment. "How could you say that and just allow the execution of my people, my friends, my father?"

Lotor's eyes became as hard and cold as ice when Allura mentioned her father. "King Alfor needs to be punished for his crimes against the Empire."

"What crimes?" Allura demanded, clenching her fists at her sides and casting Lotor a venomous glare. With her red watery eyes, her expression wasn't nearly as furious as the fire within her. 

"He destroyed my home," Lotor stated, using a condescending tone. He was treating her as if she was simple. Mocking her in a way that he hadn't since they were children. "Did you really think the obliteration of our history and our culture would be forgotten?"

"My father was protecting the universe when he destroyed Daibazaal," Allura snapped. Defending her father was the most natural thing in the universe for her. "You know that. You agreed to the evacuation."

Lotor leaned forward, his eyes were filled with a cold fury. Allura had never seen such cruelty cloud his face before. "If I hadn't, he would have destroyed us all anyway in order to get rid of the rift."

"That's a lie," Allura hissed, taking a threatening step towards him. "Unlike Zarkon, my father actually values life."

Lotor took in a sharp breath, and his eye twitched with agitation. "Do not insult-"

"Are you really such a coward," Allura cut him off. Her anger continued to fan the flames within her. Even as the tears slowly fell and streamed down her cheeks, she couldn't stop herself from confronting him. "That you can't stand against your father when he plans to decimate an entire planet and all of it's inhabitants?" 

"Allura," Lotor warned, his voice dropping low. 

"Are you really that afraid of him?" She challenged, coming up close to him so her face was inches from his. 

"That's enough!" Lotor yelled, his words echoing through the forest. "Allura, if you don't come with me right now, you will be destroyed with the rest of them."

Them.

That word. That word that addressed all of the Alteans, as if they were scourges of the galaxy, as if they were insects not worth a second glance. That word was the final straw, and caused her heart to crack. 

Lotor didn't care about her home or her people. He didn't even really care about her. He cared about his own interests and his own survival. She was a fool to think otherwise. The prince had chosen to side with his murderous emperor instead of standing against him. He had chosen to join the ravenous and ruthless monster that was the Galra Empire. 

"I see," Allura said, keeping her voice emotionless, even as her heart caved in on itself. "Well Prince Lotor, I'm afraid I must decline your most gracious invitation."

Her face contorted with pure rage and her voice became unnaturally deadly. "I would rather burn with my people than go anywhere with you."

The look on her face and the sound of her voice seemed to shock Lotor into silence. He stared at her for a long moment, echoes of fear in his yellow eyes. He lifted his hand, like he was going to try and touch her, but lowered it immediately. Without another word, he retreated back to his cruiser. 

As he turned away from her, silent as the grave, Allura could feel a pressure on her chest. A massive stone was pressing down relentlessly on her lungs, causing her breathing to become slow and shallow. But even as everything within her ached, Allura kept her composure while Lotor boarded his ship. Only when the cruiser was out of sight, did she allow herself to break down into sobs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im really happy people liked my last chapter and I'm sorry this chapter was just angst but what can I say. I love me some pain. 
> 
> The song for this chapter was Burn from Hamilton. I thought Eliza's heartbreak and fury when encountered with betrayal would be a good match for Allura. Also that song is just beautiful.


	3. Think Of Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Think of me, think of me waking  
> Silent and resigned  
> Imagine me trying too hard  
> To put you from my mind  
> Recall those days, look back on all those times  
> Think of the things we’ll never do  
> There will never be a day  
> When I won’t think of you

Ten thousand years was a long time. Lotor would know, he had to live through it. At first he didn't notice the absurd length of his own life, and the years passed him by as they normally would. But when he felt it, the way time seemed to push past him and leave him behind in its wake, a hole was created in his chest. The piece of empty space within him was small, barely there really, but he still felt it.

When his parents rose from the dead, more driven and callous than ever before, Lotor struggled to adapt. Seeing his father standing before him, watching him with a calculating gaze, made Lotor's heart jump to his throat. He noticed there was no longer an iris or pupil in the centre of his eyes, just the unsettling violet glow. 

A woman stood, hunched over at Zarkon's side. Her hair was a white and straggly mess and her hands were like bone. Her skin tone was a darker and more vibrant purple than most of the Galra. There was a sharp ferocity in her expression, and her eyes were the same as his father's; bright, glowing, and soulless. 

Mother. The word brushed the back of his mind, whispered in the voice of a child. 

Zarkon said only one cruel thing when he saw his son again, after returning to the world of the living. One thing that left Lotor shell shocked as his father passed him by like he were a common Galra soldier. 

"Your weakness has cost us our home and our dignity," Zarkon's said, his voice so much deeper and gravely than it had been before. He didn't even look at Lotor as he strode passed him, but Lotor could still hear what he said next. "I should have expected this kind of failure from a half breed."

It was the first time Lotor had ever heard his father use that slur towards him, but it wasn't the last. 

His mother didn't say a word as she followed close behind his father on his way to the bridge. Right after that, Zarkon declared war against Altea and all of their allies, plunging the universe into chaos. 

Lotor tried to stop the bloodshed, tried to find a trace of compassion in his father, but was quickly silenced by a harsh threat from his father and a sharp glare from his mother. 

The prince still tried though. He tried and nearly managed to save Allura from the fate of her people. He tried to convince his father to keep the royal family of Altea alive. In the end, his efforts amounted to nothing. Emperor Zarkon personally killed King Alfor without pause or a sense of regret, and soon after, the entire Altean solar system was wiped off of the star map. 

Once the news of Altea's demise reached him, Lotor stopped trying.

As his father continued to conquer planet after planet in his mad pursuit of Voltron, Lotor stayed silent at his side. He watched as his father hunted down and slaughtered Voltron's remaining paladins. He watched as his mother used quintessence to build horrible monstrosities for the use of the Empire. He never stood up to them or even protested against their actions. There was no point.

Allura was gone. She had burned with her people, the way she claimed she would when he last saw her. Her voice, deadly and full of hatred, echoed his ears. Lotor tried to block the sound out, unable to take her accusing tone or the look of betrayal on her face. Eventually, after months of torture, the voice faded away and he was able to breathe easier. 

The Emperor never settled on a new planet, despite conquering many places that would serve as a decent ground for a new home. Zarkon stayed on the massive central command ship, constantly moving and searching the vast universe for the elusive Lions of Voltron. While his parents continued their obsessive quest for the ultimate power, Lotor was pushed farther into the background. 

Zarkon kept him out of sight and out of mind, only occasionally allowing him to stand to the side of his throne while he spoke to certain dignitaries and generals. Lotor wasn't sure whether he was there to keep up appearances or to learn from his father. Either way, his father expected him to stay silent and vigilant as he gave orders and ruled over his ever expanding Empire. 

His mother barely acknowledged him, and Lotor saw no hint of recollection or even the slightest emotion in her eyes when she looked at him. His mother had always been distant, even before her death and resurrection. However, this new version of her, this woman who could summon a powerful and unnatural sorcery with a vicious twist of her fingers, seemed like a completely new person. He supposed it was fitting she now called herself Haggar instead of her given name. That was what Lotor now called her as well. 

There were only small moments, where Lotor was sure she could remember that he was her son. She would take him aside and into a remote room. She would stab a syringe of bright quintessence into his arm without any warning or reason. The golden substance's unearthly glow would coat her hand in it's warm yellow light, and Lotor always found himself hypnotized by its colour. As it filled his veins and rushed to his heart, Lotor could feel his muscles relax and his lungs breathe with new life. The first time Haggar did this, Lotor had thought she was trying to kill him. She had easily overpowered him when he tried to fight her off. And after that first injection, he simply went along with her whim without protest. He could see it in her eyes, a shade of something in the centre. A sign that when she did this, she was doing it for his sake.

With each injection Haggar gave him, Lotor's skin tone became more vibrant and his hair colour began to fade until blueish silver turned to stark white. As Lotor examined his pale hair, he cracked a tiny smile. It was the same as Allura's. Or had her hair been more silvery?

Lotor's thoughts came to a halt when the question came to mind. The smile on his face disappeared. The more he thought back on her, the more difficult it was to get a clear image in his head. It wasn't just the colour of her hair that he couldn't remember, he couldn't recall the sound of her voice, the curve of her smile, or the feeling of her skin. He tried to conjure details from his memories, but her image was distorted, smeared and damaged by the passage of time. 

Lotor pondered on it for days before the truth finally sunk in. Allura was truly dead, and he was forgetting her. No matter what he did, he wouldn't be able to stop her from fading away entirely. 

The grief hit him like a punch to the stomach and he could feel a wetness at the corner of his eyes. Once the first tear fell, he could do nothing to stop the rest. Lotor cried for a long time, feeling the weight of loosing his first love in every way someone can loose love.

The years bled together as time continued to roll by and Lotor began to feel the hole inside him. He shouldn't be living this long. The Galra had long lifespans and Altean's lived even longer, but he never aged at all, even as centuries passed. 

Centuries dragged by the prince and Lotor began to forget pieces of his life. He forgot the palace he grew up in along with the very name of his home planet. He forgot the meaning that Haggar's presence held along with the summers from his childhood. All of it slowly vanished from his mind as the centuries turned to millenniums, the way a dwarf star would vanish from the sky. 

The people he met over the years would come and go. He would meet another person that was half Galra and half something else and he would form a connection. There had been several of them throughout his life, kindred spirits within a cold and dark empire. But eventually, they all died off and then they faded from his memories.

It was the quintessence running through his veins, keeping him up while everyone around him would fall. Lotor almost hated it, but a small part of him liked standing above them all. An immortal among insects that were only a flicker within his lifetime. Every frustrating general or scheming underling that would try to win his father's favour and devalue their prince while he stood by the throne; all of them would fade, while Lotor remained standing at his father's side. 

However, that satisfaction was sometimes overwhelmed by the emptiness; the hole that continued to grow as he outlived everyone he knew. 

He didn't make a lasting connection with anyone, and he never made an impact on the world around him or even the Empire he was the soul heir to. Because while Lotor never died, Zarkon didn't either. The emperor stayed in complete control, while Lotor remained as a silent observer beside the throne. 

He had no purpose, no reason to keep living, but he kept living anyway. He was like a rock, stuck in a stream. The current didn't move him, it simply flowed around and left him behind, over and over again. And, the same way water would erode a stone, Lotor could feel time eroding him, hollowing him out until not much of him was left.

He supposed this was how an immortal would die. They would rot from the inside out. 

Eventually, the emptiness became unbearable and Lotor could feel his edges snapping as that hole grew bigger and became deeper. Resentment and rage crawled through his insides and clenched his heart. All of that anger and hostility was directed towards one thing. The being that kept him alive while also refusing to die himself. 

Zarkon was a daunting figure, who's shadow loomed over Lotor in aspect of his life. He sat on his throne of bones, unchallenged and threatened by nothing. For there was no one in the universe that could hope to stand against this immortal that held command over nearly every living thing. Even as his only son, standing to the side of his throne, Lotor had no effect on him. His fingers twitched with a pent up agitation, but he could only stand there with a tense expression and a rigid spine. 

Lotor didn't dare act on his impulsive desire to lunge at his father, even while the desire grew tenfold throughout time. Even as the heir to the Galra empire, his safety in regards to his father's temper was not guaranteed. One wrong move could result in exile, or worse.

'Are you really that afraid of him?' He could hear a soft whisper ring from the back of his mind, though he couldn't remember where he had heard those words. 

The whisper struck something within him, an emotion he thought had been stifled by centuries of an endless and purposeless existence. A determination and drive to rebel against the chains that confined him. He was sick of being afraid and controlled, and any punishment his father dreamt up for him was bound to be better than the life he was living now. 

When Lotor acted out, speaking out against Zarkon in front of his generals and protesting his latest battle strategy, the punishment was swift. For his insolence, his father sent him to the fighting ring, forcing him to fight among the other gladiators. To maintain appearances, Zarkon announced to his people that the crown prince was fighting in the ring in order to prove his strength as well as challenge it. 

With his vast experience, Lotor was able to conquer every adversary he faced in the ring. With each victory, he was met with cheers of adulation that sent a spike of satisfaction down his spine. On the few occasions that the emperor would attend the fights, Lotor would look up at his father with a smug grin after he took down his opponent. 

His success in the ring was not ignored by his father, and eventually Zarkon was satisfied with the result. However, when the Emperor told Lotor that he was free to stop participating in the fights, Lotor declined and continued to enter the ring when the desire struck him. The freedom and adoration he received during the gladiator matches was not something he wanted to loose. 

Lotor's victories reinvigorated the boldness and confidence that he possessed in his youth. He continued to act against his father, despite Haggar's warning glares as well as his father's punishments. The prince was sent to conquer far off planets with minimal forces, sent to crush stubborn rebellions, and forced to assist in the search for the Lions of Voltron. 

It took centuries of dedication and careful planning, but eventually the Galra prince was met with success. Finding the Red Lion had been a great triumph for the Empire, and Lotor swelled with pride when his father laid eyes on the great prize he had brought home. 

Over the next thousand years, Lotor had established himself as a key pillar in the Galra empire. Despite some of the Galra beliving his tactics to be unorthodox, Lotor had still earned the loyalty and respect of his people. It seemed to be much more affective to speak up than to stay silent. 

However, in spite of his victories, Zarkon was pushed to the edge of his patience when the prince made a cocky remark during a war meeting. 

"It's no wonder our forces have been unsuccessful when conquering these solar systems," Lotor had snarked from beside the throne, glaring down at the generals that stood bellow him. "If it was you four leading the charge, anyone could win."

Zarkon's head snapped around and he stared his son down with an unreadable expression. "And do you believe you and your half breed battalion could do the job better."

Lotor scoffed loudly, ignoring the fury that ticked at his father's features. If he had been observing diligently, he would have noticed Haggar lurking in the corner, watching him with a disapproving stare.

"I believe I wouldn't need over five months to take over one planet and establish a system before the locals revolted," he answered. His voice was sharp as he smirked at the generals who were now shifting uncomfortably on their feet. 

"If that's the case, then you should be the one in charge of finding and conquering the solar systems at the fringes of our universe," Zarkon stated, his eyes were cold and hard like ice. "With your confidence, I'm sure your success is guaranteed."

His father giving him the challenge was not surprising. The shock came from the details. The Emperor was sending his son off to the farthest reaches of the galaxy, only to return when he had taken all the known planets for the Empire. This punishment was different from all others; instead of a test of strength or intellect, Zarkon had chosen banishment, finally growing tired of his sons insolence. 

The shock of his exile wore off quickly and he immediately set to work. It was almost a saving grace to be banished from the empire and get away from Central Command. Lotor conquered planets in the name of the Galra Empire. He added new recruits very regularly, allowing those who stood out as brilliant or strong, to rise above the others. It felt wonderful to have such control over his environment, working and strategizing without his father looming over his shoulder. 

His exile lasted a three centuries, but with the strain of running his battalion, Lotor hardly noticed. It was only when he received his summons to return to Central Command that he realized how long he was gone. 

His return was not announced and the only reception he received when he arrived in the throne room, was Haggar standing before him with a handful of Druids behind her. 

His father was no where to be seen.

"Prince Lotor," Haggar addressed him. Her harsh voice and scrutinizing eyes were not something he had missed while in exile. "Voltron has returned."

"I heard," Lotor stated, recalling the whispering and rumours that had been spreading around his ship for the past few months. It had been enormously annoying to find that his effort to capture the Red Lion had been in vain. "Is that the reason for my father's absence?"

"You're father is currently recovering from his latest battle against Voltron," Haggar, confirming that Zarkon was in fact alive. Lotor didn't bother to hide the disappointment in his expression. "You have been summoned to take over in your father's absence."

"And when he recovers, I suppose I will be banished once again," Lotor snipped, crossing his arms and holding his chin up with pride. "I'm half tempted to go back into exile and let him clean up his own mess."

"Do not make light of this, young prince," she whispered. "With Princess Allura leading the Paladin's against the Empire, Voltron is the largest threat we have ever faced. We need to be ready for it."

Lotor didn't register the lecture that the old witch gave him. All thoughts in his head had stopped when he heard that name again, for the first time in thousands of years. For a moment, everything within him was still. He scarcely breathed and his heart rate slowed. If there had even been a gust of wind, he would have toppled over. 

And then, as if a dam was broken open, his blood rushed through him like a river and his heart began to thud uncontrollably in his chest. He struggled to keep his breathing steady as that name blared in his ears and clawed at his throat. The chaos of his own memories made it nearly impossible for him to snap out of his state of confusion and panic. One thought was able to ring true in his head against all the turmoil. 

Allura, the girl from his childhood and the woman he had loved since he was a teenager, was alive. 

Events of a life long forgotten flashed before his eyes. The image of his betrothed was blurry; her face was wrong no matter how hard he tried to imagine it. However, even though the images had faded, the emotions of those events were fresh and they cut into him like a knife. 

Haggar - mother, his mind whispered - came up behind him, her bony hand was positioned on his shoulder and her claws bit into his flesh. 

"Do not let your past emotions impede you from avenging your father and leading your people," her hushed whisper rang loudly in his ear. Lotor had to wonder if this was how she would plant ideas in his father's head. "This Empire needs stability and strength, not weakness."

Perhaps she said this because she knew of the raging storm within his mind, the frantic pounding of his heart, and she was trying to keep him grounded. Perhaps she simply wanted to push him into action. Though, Lotor didn't have the mental control to do either. Memories splashed across his vision in bright blinding colours, making it impossible for him to even see straight. Lotor could only stare ahead, horrified and elated by his revelation. The revelation he continued to repeat over and over, unable to completely believe it was true. 

Allura was alive.


End file.
